At the bar one night, a man approached one of the ladies standing near the edge of the dance floor. "Would you like to dance?" he asked.

The girl didn't even look at him when she replied, "I don't like this song, and even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."

The man immediately said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but you must have misunderstood me. I said, 'You look fat in those pants.'"

* Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

* Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

* Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'

* Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.

* Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

* Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.

* Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.

* Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

* Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.

* Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

* Airplanes don't mind if you like to look at other airplanes.

* Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

* Airplanes expect to be tied down.

* Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

* Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

* However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's a bad thing.

Scientists have determined that the average time of intercourse lasts 4 min. The average number of strokes is 9 per minute, making the average intercourse 36 strokes. Since the average length of a penis is 6 inches the average girl receives 216 inches or 18 feet per intercourse. The average woman does it about three times a week, 52 weeks annually. 156 x 18 feet makes 2808 feet or just over a half of a mile.